Here in Egypt without my twin Maytag washer/dryer (sigh); I’ve been washing my laundry by hand. I actually don’t mind and find it quite Zen. There are people in the community that will hand launder clothing for a small fee. In fact, I paid for this service just two weeks ago due to having a big idea. The young lady who lived in my building offered to hand wash a large bed comforter for me. A little background: She is the wife of the building maintenance man. She did a great job and returned it fluffy and clean a few days later. While her pretty baby girl played at our feet, she confided that she was controlled by her abusive and dictatorial husband. She showed me bruises.
After confiding her abuse, I hatched a plan. In my mind, doing my laundry (over a short while) could become her “Freedom” money from this abusive guy. We stashed the sack of sheets, towels and other wardrobe whatnots at her apartment.
During the same period of time, with the best of intentions, I tried to control Stateside situations and the people involved. Yes, I had it all figured out, except for the part where I was informed in no uncertain terms that things would remain “as is” until further notice. Not one to be easily sullied, I then emailed another party to reinforce my email to the first party. I insisted within this email that I be communicated with about the progress of things, “as soon as possible-like, immediately!” It took a few days for me to realize that I was being patently ignored.
Meanwhile, my laundry and my laundress were both missing. I was in a tizzy. Some of the items in that sack were relatively new and expensive to replace. Crap! I soon learned that this man’s violent assaults on his wife had been overheard by residents in the building. To thwart rumored plans of being confronted by his employer (the building owner) and the police; he had uprooted his little family and disappeared into the night; padlocking his apartment. Padlocked? I had to enlist the assistance of building management to search and retrieve my laundry from their abandoned apartment. My laundry was returned (Eureka!), but it had not been washed (okay, whatEver!). The items were returned in the same condition I’d sent them: In need of cleansing.
With the return of my unlaundered laundry and unanswered emails regarding situations and folks Stateside; I decided to reflect. The bathtub is my personal reflecting pool. I read a few passages of a book by Ilyanla VanZant, who picked up right where I was: “I was being a Control Freak and getting my comeuppance.” I had become like the bullying husband of my little friend.
What is the remedy for runaway Control Freak’s? Surrender. Surrender the outcome of every thought to God. “Let go and Let God.” Yes, I’m rolling my eyes and squirming because I hate cliche’s. But, to surrender: Literally as well as figuratively is the only remedy. The act of surrender sounds like whimping out or being irresponsible to the mind and ears of a bonafide (but evolving) control freak such as myself. However, it wasn’t until I surrendered the idea that my clothing, like the young woman who was to launder them; as well as the situations and people I was concerned about Stateside; were simply… Gone – out of my control. When I surrendered the knowledge that the troubled wife and the Stateside situations and people in general were simply going to do whatever they were going to do, no matter what; is when I felt… Release.
“All to thee my Blessed Savior, I surrender all…“
During reflection, I realized that the same day I truly gave my dirty laundry to the Lord as well as the considerations for the young woman with the reportedly abusive husband; I got my laundry back!
I realized what was important: I’d donated a few dollars to a young lady that needed the money. I planted seeds of the idea that she had a choice. I prayed for her to have a blessed and peaceful future. Bonus: I got back my laundry! The next afternoon, with my spirit still in a state of peace and release from the cares of other people and situations; I also got a unique and encouraging answer from the U.S.A; which is all I really wanted: Blessed assurance.
Funny, God knew that all along. HE knew I wanted to help a young lady by instilling a new idea into her psyche; to know that she had choices in her life and she had paid skills that could one day sustain life for herself and her three month old baby-girl. You see, I had prayed for my U. S. A. concerns as well as this young woman. However, I then picked up the baton (snatched it back out of the hands of God Almighty) and began maneuvering and manipulating (bullying) toward “my” desired outcomes regarding them all; including my laundry.
The irrational need to control is simply Fear at its core. “Ours is not the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” Fear and control are synonymous. Fear is the catalyst and control is the effective behavior. Control Freak-dom mixed with prayer is like opening the door to the dryer. Immediately the drying cycle stops! Time is spent poking and prodding the wet clothing inside, but you won’t receive the desired result until you let go of the dang door. Close it, for crying out loud! Allow the cycle to take place. Allow the process to play itself out. We can put the wet clothes in (Prayer to God), but until you shut the door and let the processor (God) do the work; things will never change or be finished or obtain the desired outcome. In fact, by surrendering the outcome, we can rest assured that the results will be – Eph. 3:20 “…more than we could ever have asked for or think”- because; “His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts…”
In conclusion: I thankfully, only have my own dirty laundry to care about and I’m grateful today to spend the time with soap, water and a basin; lovingly rubbing away and giving thanks to God. They shall dry in their own good time.
Be Blessed!
Credits:
“Value in the Valley” – Ilyanla Vanzant
Van De Venter – Hymn – “I Surrender All” is a Christian hymn, with words written by American art teacher and musician Judson W. Van DeVenter(1855–1939), who subsequently became a music minister and evangelist. It was put to music by Winfield S. Weeden (1847–1908), and published in 1896. Google wikipedia content 2012
Ephesians 3:20″Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according … By this power he can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.” biblehub.com/parallel/ephesians/3-20
Isaiah 55:8-9 *8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. *9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Holy Bible – NIV www.biblegateway.com
Lighthouse Ministries 